Well, thank fuck i’ve finished. That is, the one chapter’s worth of revision i’ve managed between 3:30 and 7:30.
Four hours. Four, long, drawn out hours to do something that should have taken a mere hour and a half to do. Christ i’ve got this procrastination thing down to a tee.
Unfortunately, the rate i’m going, it looks as though i’m going to procrastinate myself into post-uni unemployment.
And yet I continue to write…
The last couple of days have been somewhat topsy-turvey. Extreme lows followed by elation at a remedy to said lows, realisation and acceptance. It’s been a little bit of a roller coaster. To be honest, I can’t really say too much without giving away lots of details about mine and other people’s personal lives. But it has been character building, and I very much doubt the next couple of months will hold anything but the same.
What I can say is that i’ve realised that i’ve lost touch with some really important people to me. Whatever the reason, i’ve come to realise over that last couple of days that it is really imperative for me to maintain my relationship with these people otherwise, ultimately, I will end up alone.
I’ve also realised that i’ve got some very good friends in places I didn’t think or didn’t want to have friends. Why i’ve not noticed this before I do not know, but i’m greatful that I have at this point before they’ve had the chance to slip away much like many of my previous friends have.
I hate to sound like and angsty bastard, and I know i’m doing incredible well at sounding as such, but I guess if you were really that fed up of my angst, then you wouln’t have bothered reading past the first post, so thanks for sticking around.
Its kinda weird, having to accept something has to end when a) you don’t want it to and b) it’s appears to be through no fault of your own that it is ending. You ask yourself many questions. Why? What could I have done? If I had known before, I could have changed this. As one friends said to me on friday night, everything happens for a reason, and in a comforting way, its kind of true. It may not be for the reason you think, or even want it to happen, but whichever way you look at it, there is a reason for everything. When you’ve realised this, then acceptance becomes so much easier. There is no reason to doubt, or even worry, because when you’ve accepted that something will or has to happen, you can focus on the time leading up to that, and make the most of it.
You need to not dwell on the things that have happened, but think of the good times and learn from you mistakes. Learning occurs in many different ways and places, and much of how we learn takes place without any concious effort. You need to look back and as opposed to trying to find an answers and fix things that may be deeply ingrained, you need to learn from that experience, both the good and the bad aspects, and employ them in the future.
Something Dave need to do when thinking about another Red Dwarf special.
I know, that was a bit of a change of tone, but tonight I finally watched Red Dwarf die. Some may argue that it died already, but I merely believed that it was on a decline. Bad, but not un-recoverable. Tonight I was proved wrong. Tonight that show, one of my favourites, finally dropped below the x axis. The heart rate monitor finally stopped. Lister has left the building.
Carbug? What the fuck?
If you’re not familiar with the program, or at least had the fortune to miss the episodes this weekend, then I am going to give a brief outline of the final scene of the second of three episodes. Bear in mind the series is generally set 3 million years into the future. You can then begin to grasp the gravity of the situation.
The crew driving up present day Coronation Street in a smart car made up to look like starbug.
Christ. There were a couple of redeeming features though. Big Suze now playing another hologram (and quite well I might add, you can barely tell its her with the russian accent) and the ‘is it ethical to kill a hologram?’ scene (which is by far the funniest part of the whole 3 parter). But other than that, I feel disappointed.
Anyway, after all that, I think I shall have to leave your good selves for bed. Or at least, another session on Choke by Chuck Palahniuk. I’ve been reading that book for an age now. I never seem to be able to do more than about 4 pages before i get sidetracked / fall asleep because i’m reading way too late at night.
Anyway. I have a stack of revision to do tomorrow. Laters!
